I received an interesting email this week and want to see what your thoughts are on the matter:

Hi, this is way off topic but I thought I would ask you for some advice. I just found out that my 12 year-old son forged my signature on a note sent home by his teacher. Then when I found it, he continued to lie about it. As I sit here eating crow and popping anti acids I am clueless as what to do. I've asked to meet with two of his teachers and told him that all TV, video games, and computers are out of bounds for him. But how long can I do that? Any suggestions? I'm desperate. Have your kids done this? Please say yes, I don't want to think that I'm alone on this one. OK, deep breaths and some chocolate and a few hours of sleep should put this in perspective. Right?

I'd almost like to say nothing more, but leave this open to comments and see what you have to say but I don't want to cop out on you here. I'll tell you what I said in response but then I want to hear if you've had similar experiences and what you did--I'd especially like to hear from those of you with older children. With my oldest at 14 I've had some exposure to this but not as much as many of you out there.

Most kids lie at one time or another, so don't panic.
This doesn't mean it's a good thing but it means that it's pretty much to be expected. It's human nature to want to create an alternate reality to escape a difficult situation so don't think it means you've failed as a mother if you find your child lying. It also means that if your child has never told a lie they're probably either a million-to-one anomaly in the system or you've been blissfully ignorant. Don't get me wrong, there's no finger pointing here, one of my own children has been caught many times telling lies and it's made me wonder secretly if the others are just better at it so they don't get caught as much. Hard to tell. The point is, you almost have to expect that it will happen sooner or later, let's hope you catch them sooner than later so you can deal with it.

Children need to know you love them.
No matter what, whether they're telling the truth or not, they need to know this and it comes from repetitive actions and words that reflect your love over the years--not just during the confrontation over the misdeed. However, just as important, they need to know that forgery and lying are wrong, that they've disappointed you by doing something dishonest and that despite what they might think or see in the world around them, being dishonest has significant consequences. Bad consequences.

Children need to know how you feel about honesty.
Not just by your words at that particular crisis moment but by your own example of being honest every day. They're watching you and learning from you--do they see you giving back extra change at the grocery store, avoiding the little white lies, telling the truth and giving back what you borrow? They're pretty smart and your example will have a lot of weight when it comes to how they feel about being honest themselves.

Punish the child for two separate offenses.
I would also tell my child that they're being punished for two different things--one punishment for the forgery and then another separate punishment for the lie and I'd make the second punishment worse than the first.

Now . . . as for specific punishments, that's up for you to decide because you know your child best, what they value and what would make the greatest impression on them. Don't make it so harsh that they feel they'll never recover--especially for a first offense--but make it harsh enough to convey your sincerity and intent. If you can't trust them, perhaps taking away privileges that require trust--being with friends, having free time, etc., would be appropriate.

Teach that trust is earned.
As Andrew explained to our kids, trust is like the rungs on a ladder, with each trustworthy and honest action being the equivalent of one step. But, with just one lie or dishonest action instead of stepping back one step you slide all the way to the bottom of the ladder. It's not fair but that's how trust works: a lifetime to build, a minute to destroy. Once you've slid to the bottom it doesn't mean you can't climb up again, it just means you've lost what you'd gained before and have to prove yourself all over again.

Don't be surprised--or give up--if the child does it again.
These things take time and consistency and slip-ups will probably occur. But stick with it. That's where the love part comes in--show them that you're willing to forgive and teach and care no matter what but be firm in your standards of behavior for them and for yourself. Just because they do it again doesn't mean your technique isn't working, it just means your child is human and probably needs more time to learn (don't we all?) Don't write-off your efforts as a failure if they don't get immediate results, you're in this for the long haul anyway, right?


And I know this is very late but there were some issues with the prize going unclaimed this week and I had to do a redraw but at any rate, Dorit Sasson at Pieces of Me was this week's giveaway winner and has won the lovely biwa stick pearl earrings from jaC Jewelry. Congratulations to her! I'll be posting a double-prize giveaway tomorrow so stick around.


Karen at Simply a Musing Blog is hosting a Nip Cancer in the Bud segment at her blog and is taking questions that will be put to some Texas oncologists about cancer. If you have anything for the experts nip on over to Karen's place to leave her a message. She'd love to hear from you. Tell her hi for me.

Technorati tags: parenting, motherhood

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Do you love drinking 40s, but hate the fact that the end is always warm? You need a 40 cozy, son! A couple of weeks ago we were lucky enough to have a couple of 40 cozies show up at the Tasty Booze test labs. The idea is so simple it’s genius. I have been drinking 40s since before I was legal and the problem has always been that the booze is always warm once you get to the last quarter of the 40. Even if you go the Brass Monkey route you are still going to end up with warm, orange juice flavored malt liquor.

The cozy itself is pretty basic, as it should be. It is made out of your standard neoprene type cozy material with a handle stitched to the side. The bottle slides into the cozy, your hand slides through the handle and then you are ready to get down to business. Let’s be honest, it’s a cozy, not a fucking rubik’s cube.

Last Friday I stopped by the local Safeway and picked up a couple of Bud Heavy 40s so that Honcho and I could give these things a proper run through. I opted for the couture design and Honcho rolled with the bandana model. The cozy fits nice and tight around the 40, and despite the band that runs underneath the bottle, the 40 was stable when you set it down on a table. The handle on the cozy works well and gives you a little extra sense of security when you are holding the big ass bottle. I wouldn’t recommend trying to hold a full 40 by just the handle during normal use, but we tried it. While the handle held, it was pretty hard to keep the 40 under control.

In order to really test the cold retention capabilities of the cozy, Honcho and I decided we needed to slow down our normal drinking pace a little. We fired up the old Rock Band machine and started jamming. I would say it took us about 45 minutes to finish our 40s and both were cool to the last drop. They weren’t refrigerator cold but they were definitely cooler than if we were brown-bagging it.

Bottom line, if you drink 40s on a regular basis do yourself a favor and get a 40 cozy.

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The old guy in this video has skills. I’d definitely be one of the fastest ones off the bench. Getting sprayed by a skunk is not on my bucket list.

Since I had a list of Anchorage activities for you today and most of you don't live in Anchorage (poor souls) here's something for you in a wider geographical range.

I haven't ever explained how I do product reviews, but if someone writes me with a product they want me to review I'm rather particular. I don't like writing posts that blast a product out of the water--seems a rather cheap shot. So if I can tell that I won't like something I'll turn them down. I'm fine pointing out a product's shortcomings or drawbacks but I'm only going to promote stuff I think has legitimate value--it's only fair to people reading to get honest feedback.

So. . . a couple weeks ago I got an email asking me if I'd like to try some samples of gourmet popcorn. I guess I'm a complete hick because I pictured vaguely in the back of my mind a box with packages of wrapped, unpopped, microwave-type popcorn but I was busy that day and said "sure" without much thought then promptly forgot about it.

Until the Fedex guy rang my bell. I love the Fedex guy.

He handed me a HUGE box from Popcornopolis, which the kids ripped open with wild abandonment, to find GOURMET POPCORN. Yes, it deserves caps because this wasn't your everyday popcorn it was a giant tin filled with eight kinds of honest-to-goodness fancy-schmancey popcorn. The Prada of popcorn.

Almond-caramel, white chocolate and caramel, cheddar cheese, kettle corn, dark chocolate and caramel, zebra (white and dark chocolate together), cinnamon toast--it was some serious popcorn. There was even a bow and a nice note saying: Michelle, I hope you like the popcorn. Jean-Pierre.

Funny thing was, I left it on the counter while I prepared dinner. When Andrew came home he wandered in to find our kitchen counter overflowing with the beautifully wrapped basket of sweet treats and the note directed personally to his wife signed by Jean-Pierre. I loved it--it's good to keep the husband on his toes, you know?

"What's this?" he wanted to know, suspicious that maybe the blogging thing had officially gotten out of control and that strange French men sending his wife gift baskets was an unexpected downside. I explained where it had come from and suddenly he was definitely okay with being the guinea pig for popcorn experimentation.

Anyway, the story is growing long but I'll just say that we were going out that night with friends and brought out the popcorn for after-dinner treats and sampling and I can report without reservation that all six of us thought the stuff was amazing. As in, "If I eat all this popcorn at one sitting and it kills me then I'm fully prepared to go out in such a glorious finish."

You wouldn't think there was that much popcorn in the basket but we ended up leaving a couple bags with our friends because we couldn't finish it all and I feared my utter lack of self-control when it came to that tasty stuff (but not the white chocolate-caramel kind--oh no, that stuff was good and I was keeping that for myself--I sigh just thinking of it). The next day I even had the thought that I should maybe take a bag out to my grandfather whom I hadn't seen in a couple weeks.

When I gave him the bag he got completely nostalgic and mushy, talking about how much he loves popcorn, especially caramel popcorn, because when he was a boy back in Washington they grew popcorn on his family farm during the Depression. He talked about eating popcorn all the time and suddenly we were waltzing down memory lane--all over a bag of popcorn.

Who knows what this stuff is capable of. Maybe they should consider a new slogan.

Popcornopolis: bringing families together, establishing world peace and aligning the planets.

So take my honest opinion for what it's worth. I will say that Popcornopolis is just a little expensive--the tub I received runs nearly $50--but you get a lot of popcorn. I though the kettle corn was good but not remarkable (I've never been much of a fan of plain old kettle corn though). The cheddar was good compared to typical cheddar varieties but again, it's not naturally my favorite kind. My favorites were the cinnamon toast and chocolate varieties which were wonderful--all I need is a bathtub full of that stuff and life would be complete.

Technorati tags: popcorn, product reviews

This has been a popular list the past two summers so, following tradition, I've updated it with current times and locations along with a few new events.

I get frequent emails from people new to Anchorage who want to know about activities for kids and this post is my answer. If you're not in Anchorage it might give you ideas for activities in your own community--try putting together a list for your own town. Every parent there will thank you.

1. Visit the Loussac Library. Sign up for the 2008 Summer Reading Program "Catching the Reading Bug" where children earn rewards for reading.

Some extra events to see (click links for more details):
June 13 Beekeepers and Bees
June 26 Alaskan Insects
June 24-25 Bugs on the Big Screen movies and crafts
July 1 Creepy Crawlies
July 8 Don Russell, magician
July 15-17 Bugs on the Big Screen 2 movies and crafts
July 22 Mad Science in Alaska bug expo
July 29 Megan Holtan, juggler

Join one of the reading groups at the story theater in the Loussac Library:

Mother Goose (birth-18 months) on Thurs 10:30 am, Fri 2:30
Lapsit (18 months-3 years) Tues 10:30, 11:30 Wed 10:30, Thurs 7pm, Friday 10:30
Storytime (3-5 years) Thurs & Fri 11:30 am

2. Enjoy outdoor concerts at "Music in the Park". These free outdoor concerts are Wednesdays & Fridays noon-1pm at Peratrovitch park downtown and are always fun. We never miss the bagpipes because who doesn't like bagpipes, kilts and a picnic in the sun? There is also "Music for Little Ones" concerts every Monday noon-1pm, "Theater Thursdays" productions every Thursday noon-1 pm, “Live After Five” concerts every Friday 5-8pm and "Cultural Faire" cultural events every Saturday 2-3 pm. All are held at the same location downtown.

Jun 4 Central High Band
Jun 6 Carhart Brothers
Jun 11 Dixie Express (AF Band of the Pacific)
Jun 13 Arctic Rock (9th Army Band)
Jun 18 Jomala Jazz Quintet
Jun 20 The Asteroids
Jun 25 Karenodie & Paul
Jun 27 Highland Bagpipe Competition
Jul 2 Alaskan Express (AF Band of the Pacific)
Jul 9 Melissa Bledsoe Fisher (jazz)
Jul 11 Jammin' Salmon Dixie Band (9th Army Band)
Jul 16 Folk's Tales
Jul 18 Robin Hopper
Jul 23 Karenodie & Paul
Jul 25 Derry Aires
Jul 30 Alaska Brass (AF Band of the Pacific)
Aug 1 Galway Days Band (Irish)
Aug 6 Sneaky Feeling
Aug 8 Alaska Brass (AF Band of the Pacific)
Aug 13 Top Cover (AF Band of the Pacific)
Aug 15 Jared Woods
Aug 20 Midnight Starlight
Aug 22 Melissa Bledsoe Fisher (jazz)
Aug 27 Top Cover (AF Band of the Pacific)
Aug 29 Alaska Button Box Gang

3. See auto racing at The Northstar Speedway. This track in Wasilla has Saturday and Sunday racing May 17th through September 6th (but not August 30th). The gates open at 2 pm and races start at 5pm. GCI customers can go to any GCI store for free tickets, otherwise it’s $10 for adults, $5 for kids and free for kids 10 and under. We went a couple years ago and had a great time--there was even a demolition derby before the races.

4. See a free movie at the Dimond Center Theaters. Every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 10am the theaters hold their Free Family Family Film Festival where two movies are shown, no age limit. Movies are shown concurrently all three days.

May 27-29 Doogal & Shrek 3
Jun 3-5 Jonah: Veggie Tales & Bee Movie
Jun 10-12 Veggie Tales: Pirates & Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
June 17-19 Mr. Bean's Holiday & Nancy Drew
Jun 24-26 Charlotte's Web & The Water Horse
Jul 1-3 Wallace and Gromit & Surf's Up
Jul 8-10 Mr. Magorium's Emporium & Alvin and the Chipmunks
Jul 15-17 Everyone's Hero & Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Jul 22-24 Arctic Tale & Firehouse Dog
Jul 29-31 Jimmy Neutron & Happily N'Ever After

5. Catch a Bucs Baseball game. Playing at Mulcahy Stadium several evenings a week (usually at 7pm) June 9th-August 2nd, this is great fun. Bring a big bag of peanuts and show your kids what baseball at sunny 10pm feels like. The library's summer reading program often gives out free passes for four to the games otherwise admission is $5, six and under are free.

6. Go gold panning at Indian Valley Mine. Off of the Seward Highway just before the turnoff to Indian and open from May 15th-September 15th 9am-9pm. Admission is $1 per person for the mine and museum and then $5 and up for a bucket of dirt to pan--depending on the amount of dirt. It's very clean and very easy for small children and the views of Turnagain Arm are worth the trip. This isn't quite free but it's nearly so.

7. Build something at The Home Depot and Lowe’s kid clubs. Free to children of all ages, each store's kids' club provide aprons (to keep), tools, safety goggles and kits to build various easy woodworking projects such as birdhouses, bookshelves and wooden toys. Home Depot on Abbott holds their kids' club the first Saturday of every month 9am-12pm while supplies last (and I've never seen them run out but it can get crowded around the tables). Lowe’s on Old Seward and O’Malley holds theirs the 2nd Saturday at 10am. Children get certificates of completion and patches to put on their aprons each time they complete a project.

8. Go fossil hunting in Sutton. Anywhere where the rock is layered and loose you can find plant fossils from the late Cenozoic period (50-70 million years old). Bring a good map, take any road into the Talkeetna Mountains, find a good place to turn off and you'll find fossils. The kids like carrying picks and buckets--but the picks are more for fun than necessity. It's just fun banging rocks. I've got a post coming on this one later this summer with pictures from when we went.

9. Visit some of Anchorage's lakes. Rent paddle boats at Cheney Lake (on Baxter road), swim at Goose Lake (the corner of East Northern Lights and Providence Drive) or picnic at Lake Hood (near the airport) and watch the planes take off at the world’s largest and busiest float plane harbor. There's also the dinghy sailboat regatta held at Jewel Lake June 27th 12-4pm which sounds fun--or you can just fish at Jewel Lake any Saturday you want.

10. See paragliders off the mountain in Girdwood near the Alyeska Prince Hotel. On a clear day the updrafts start around noon and though it's free to sit and watch them land down around the hotel grounds for the best view take the tram ride ($14 with an Alaska ID, $7 for kids 7 and under) up the mountain for a picnic and first-hand view of their takeoffs. Hatcher’s Pass is a bit farther from Anchorage in the opposite direction but also has a great view and is popular with the paragliders--and it's free from all viewpoints.

11. Pick blueberries on Flat Top or at Hatcher's Pass. The Flat Top trailhead starts at the top of Upper Huffman Road and though the entire trail (2 miles) may not be suitable for small children, the lower alpine area known as Blueberry Hill is great for picking berries in town. It's best to check about the first week of August to see if the berries are ripe, if you wait too long they'll be all gone. Hatcher's Pass, though farther, has more blueberries than you could ever pick if you're up for a two-hour drive. For an easy hike (even with a stroller) try the beautiful Thunderbird Falls. Follow the signs from the Glenn Highway twenty minutes north of Anchorage. For a longer hike that has a spectacular prize at the end try the Winner Creek Trail in Girdwood. Andrew and I were there for our anniversary last year.

12. Ride Alaska Live Steamers miniature train. In Wasilla between the Museum of Transportation and the airport this 7.5 gauge miniature train is big enough for children and adults to sit on the individual cars as the train travels through the woods on a 20 minute train ride. The train runs the 1st and 3rd Saturdays the middle of May through the middle of September 10am-4pm. Cost isn't free but it's minimal ($4 for adults, children under 2 are free) children under 3 need a car seat but the owners have one to loan in a pinch. We did this last year and had a fun time if you'd like pictures and video footage.

13. Attend the annual 4th of July parade or the Governor’s Picnic. Festivities for the Independence Day celebration include a parade and fireworks, all free to the public. The governor's picnic is an annual event usually held toward the end of July at the Delaney Parkstrip between 9th and 10th Avenues downtown with activities and free food for all. Check the Anchorage Daily News for times as July draws closer. There are usually summer solstice events as well every year.

14. Visit the Eagle River Nature Center. I have wanted to visit ever since I discovered their claim to be home to Alaska's 27 indigenous species of orchids (or something close to that, the details were sketchy). Who would have thought? Open every day from 9am-5pm (7pm on Fridays and Saturdays) the center has nine miles of hiking trails and conducts free nature events for kids all summer long. See their website for details but they're planning "Welcome Back Birds" (May 24th) and "Exploring Streams and Ponds" (May 31st) as an example. Here in Anchorage there is also the Campbell Creek Science Center that has trails of its own where you can see eagles and bunnies and even eagles eating bunnies (seen it). Check their calender for lectures and programs.

15. Visit Seward for the 81st Annual Mountain Marathon. Every 4th of July Seward, Alaska hosts the Mountain Marathon and though you may not be prepared to participate it's fun to see. I quote from the website:

The foot race is a climb and descent on Mt. Marathon - a mile and a half up and a mile and a half down, complete with cliffs, scree fields, waterfalls, and a spectacular view. This annual event draws runners from around the world.

Over the years, this home town historical event has drawn increased participation ~ resulted in new milestones. 54 women finished the first-ever women's race in 1985, juniors began logging their records in 1994, and 2005 heralded the beginning of the "staggered start" for the senior races. The popular Mini Marathon race starts them out young - toddling just a few feet to victory!

The tradition of the Mt. Marathon Race, according to folklore, began when two sourdoughs had an argument about whether it was possible to climb and descend the mountain in less than one hour.

If you think running is hard, you need to see running Alaskan style. When they come down they're sliding and skidding and tumbling--usually a bit cut up--but it's quite the sporting event to see. We're thinking about going this year.

16. Visit Elmendorf State Fish Hatchery. Here you can view fish at various stages of growth at the facilities located at the corner of Reeve Boulevard and Post Road. The best time for viewing coho salmon is September but the hatchery is open from late May-September 8am-10pm.

17. Join a bookstore reading club. Most bookstores in town have a reading hour for kids, some with crafts and other activities. Many have reading programs that offer rewards in the form of coupons and free books to children who complete the reading goals. Barnes and Noble has Preschool Storytime on Wednesdays at 11am and Beginning Readers Storytime on Saturdays at 1pm. Call (907) 279-7323 for more details. Borders has their Storytime on Tuesdays at 11am and 1pm and Saturdays at 11am, call (907) 344-4099 for more details.

18. See dogs catching frisbees. Skyhoundz is the local canine frisbee catching championships (not to be confused with the canine catching frisbee championships--watch those modifiers folks). June 8 9am-4pm at Delaney Park strip. All the cool dogs will be there.

19. See "Arctic Thunder." Because of budget restraints the annual Elmendorf AFB airshow has been canceled the past couple years but it's back June 28-29th 9am-4pm with the Thunderbirds airshow. BRING THE EARPLUGS! (See how I shouted that? That was irony you see, because it's really loud during the show). You must bring plugs, if nothing else to protect your kids' ears. Oh, and bring a picnic. I've heard rumor that in years past they've had a special day open to children with special needs because the crowds are usually too large on the regular public days. Email them at their site if this is something you're interested in to see if it's going to happen this year too.

20. Bike the coastal trail. The Tony Knowles Coastal Trail reaches 10.5 miles from downtown Anchorage, along the coast of Cook Inlet and down to Kincaid Park. With easy terrain and beautiful scenery it's a great bike ride for kids--there are plenty of parks along the way as good places to stop for a picnic if little legs get tired. The Copper Whale Inn on L Street above Elderberry Park near the beginning of the trail has bike rentals. Pictures of one of our trips can be seen here.

Technorati tags: Anchorage, Alaska, children, activities, summer, parenting

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