The Bigger Dance

The first round of The Bigger Dance is complete and it has been heated. In the Tastybooze pool, Ol’ Dirty is tied for first place with Mike Honcho at 31 out of a possible 39 points. Baba Ganoush is close behind at 29 while Mitch Martin (28), Frank The Tank (27), and J Diggles (27) are right in it too.

After today, however, I will quickly plummet to the bottom of the standings. This morning was the start of round two and 1-seeded Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up) was eliminated by old-and-tired Molly Sims! I had Heigl losing in FINALS to Jessica Biel so I am guaranteed 3 more losses and I am completely fucked. Does anyone still think Molly Sims is hot. Isn’t she like 50?

I am also a moron and picked Lauren Conrad (The Hills) over Megan Fox (Transformers). Fox won 52-19 and is possible the hottest tattooed female ever (besides Mr. Wonka). There weren’t a ton of upsets in the first round. Generally the higher seed won the match-up.

With Heigl out I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.

My Final Four prediction is now:

Jessica Alba vs Jessica Biel
and
Marisa Miller vs Eva Longoria (This pains me)

Biel will play Miller in the Finals and potentially lose. Did you see the cover of this years SI Swimsuit Issue? Now get some tissue.

Stay tuned for more updates from the hard wood as I fall from the top spot.